My Husband Is So Useless

My Timing Is So Precise, A Heckler Would Have To Make An Appointment Just To Get A Word In.

I've Tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, T'ai Chi, Feng Shui And Deepak Chopra But I Find Straight Gin Works Best.

I Serve Dinner In Three Phases: Serve The Food, Clear The Table, Bury The Dead.

Everybody Knows How Lazy He Is. One Day The Neighbors Saw Fang Mow The Lawn And I Got Three Get Well Cards.

Choose A Checked Or Striped Wall Paper. People Will Be Halfway Home Before They Are Able To Focus.