My Life Didnʹt Need To

And Than Suddenly He Was There, Charging Down The Hallway Like Death In A Cowboy Duster.

Bringing Children Into It Was Just Low, I Decided. At Least Heʹd Left Puppies Out.

I Won't Lie. Walking Into A Room And Seeing Your Girlfriend Reading A Baby-name Book Can Kind Of Make Your Heart Stop.

I Couldn't Stop Staring At The Cave, Back Where Dimitri Was, Back Where Half Of My Soul Was.

Maybe Everyone Else Thinks Your Aversion To Food Is Cute- But Not Me. I've Watched You Watch Jill. Here's Some Tough Love: You Will Never, Ever Have Her Body. Ever. It's Impossible. She's Moroi. You're Human. That's Biology. You Have A Great One, One That Most Humans Would Kill For- And You'd Look Even Better If You Put On A Little Weight. Five Pounds Would Be A Good Start. Hide The Ribs. Get A Bigger Bra Size