My Mother-in-law Fell Down A

He Had Ambitions, At One Time, To Become A Sex Maniac, But He Failed His Practical.

I Was Sat At The Bottom Of The Garden A Week Ago, Smoking A Reflective Cheroot, Thinking About This And That - Mostly That, And I Just Happened To Glance At The Night Sky And I Marvelled At The Millions Of Stars Glistening Like Pieces Of Quicksilver Thrown Carelessly Onto Black Velvet. In Awe I Watched The Waxen Moon Ride Across The Zenith Of The Heavens Like An Amber Chariot Towards The Void Of Infinite Space Wherein The Tethered Bolts Of Jupiter And Mars Hang Forever In Their Orbital Majesty; And As I Looked At All This, I Thought, 'i Must Put A Roof On This Lavatory.

I'm Often Accused Of Saying Some Pretty Rotten Things About My Mother-in-law. But Quite Honestly, She's Only Got One Major Fault - It's Called Breathing.

My Mother-in-law Has So Many Wrinkles, When She Smiles She Looks Like A Venetian Blind.

Funny Thing How You First Meet The Woman That You Marry. I First Met The Wife In A Tunnel Of Love. She Was Digging It.