My Pilot's License. I'm Proud

Here's A Tip For All You Aspiring Young Comics: Don't Beat Up The Customers. It Is Very Difficult To Get Laughs From An Audience When You've Actually Drawn Blood From One Of Their Number. It Kills The Mood.

He Will Know From And Early Age That Failure Is Not Disgrace. It's Just A Pitch That You Missed, And You'd Better Get Ready For The Next One. The Next One Might Be The Shot Heard Round The World. My Son And I Are Americans, We Prepare For Glory By Failing Until We Don't.

Be Careful Who You Choose As Your Hero Or Who You Choose To Deify, Be It Clay Aiken Or Barack Obama. You Put All You're Hope And All Your Dreams And All Your Ideas About Stuff Into One Human Being. They're A Human Being They're Going To Let You Down. You Can't Make Someone Your Hero Because Of Something You Read On The Internet. The Internet Is Not A Source Of Information It Is A Source Of Disinformation.

If The Fed Ceases Hiking, Against The Backdrop Of Still Rising Commodity Prices, Then The Australian Dollar Will Have Few Reasons For Resisting Any Topside Advances.

Jeb Bush Announced Today On The Internet That He May Run For President. The Next Presidential Election Could Be Bush Vs. Clinton. It Will Be Like 1992 All Over Again Except I Won't Be In Rehab.