My Political Position Is That

The Russian Economy Is Tanking. It's Gotten So Bad That Today Vladimir Putin Had To Pawn His Stolen Super Bowl Ring. And Putin Will Finance His Next Invasion On Kickstarter.

Bad News, It's Going To Be A Huge Environmental Disaster, The Oil Rig Down There In The Gulf Of Mexico. The Good News Is They Think Now That The Oil Spill Will Be Diluted By The Melting Ice Caps.

I Cannot Sing, Dance Or Act; What Else Would I Be But A Talk Show Host.

Because Utah Is Largely Mormon Country, The Firing Squad's A Little Different. You're Blindfolded But No Cigarette.

Don't Worry About Me. I Plan To Continue To Be In Show Business. I Have Already Been Booked To Be In A Production Of 'the Sunshine Boys' With Jay Leno.