My Real Life Is Funnier

My Husband And I Didn't Sign A Pre-nuptial Agreement. We Signed A Mutual Suicide Pact.

There Isn't Any New Man. The New Man Is The Old Man, Only He Whines More.

As A Housewife, I Feel That If The Kids Are Still Alive When My Husband Gets Home From Work, Then Hey, I've Done My Job.

My Husband Says, 'god, Roseanne, I Can't Remember The Last Time We Had Sex.' Well, I Can, And That Is Why We Ain't Doing It.

Your Body Is Your Instrument, You Play It Expertly.