My Way Of Thinking Is

I Wanted To Be An Inventor, Whatever I Thought That Meant Then. I Guess I Was Thinking Of Edison Or Maybe James Watt. Or Maybe Even Newton.

While I Don't Script And I Don't Use Other Performers, I Think My Taste For Underlying Precision Gives Me Something In Common With Allan And George Brecht.

I Had No Idea Where These Kids At A Small Private College In The San Fernando Valley Were Coming From, Why They Were Coming To Hear Me, Or What They Needed To Know.

I Reserve The Right To Tell Shaggy Dog Stories Or Even Common Jokes As Part Of What I'm Doing. I Don't Give A Damn If Half The Audience Walks Out.

When My Mother Left Her Second Husband, She Wrote Her Autobiography And Presented It To Him For His Approval.