New Orleans: The Least Annoying

Mary Keitany From Kenya Won The Women's Race At The New York City Marathon. You Can Tell She Was Fast Because Guys On The Street Didn't Even Have Time To Finish Their Catcalls.

Kim Jong Un's Sister Got Married. That Sounds Like Another Seth Rogen Movie, Doesn't It?

You Know, We Had The Elections Earlier In The Week, And A Dead Woman, In Pennsylvania, Somehow Was On The Ballot And She Was Elected To City Council. A Dead Woman Actually Elected! And I'm Thinking, Well, I Guess There Is Still Hope For Al Gore.

It Turns Out That President Obama Has Acid Reflux. He Had A Sore Throat, Went To The Hospital, And They Diagnosed It As Acid Reflux. Talk About Irony -- It's Not Covered By Obamacare.

But Down In Florida In The Early Voting, There Were Computer Glitches, Confusing Ballots, Long Lines And Chaos. And When President Bush Heard About This, He Said, 'mission Accomplished!'