Newt Gingrich Wants To Build

Scientists Have Proven Beyond A Shadow Of A Doubt That There Is Life After Death -- Though They Say It's Virtually Impossible To Get Decent Chinese Food.

I Went To The Beach A Couple Of Times In New York City. Tough Summer Out There, But I Was Pretty Excited. I Found What I Thought At The Time Was A Very Rare Seashell. And I Took It To A Friend Of Mine Who Works In A Museum. And I Was Really Disappointed. It Turned Out To Be Just A Human Ear.

Cia Director George Tenet Has Now Testified Before The 9/11 Commission And He Said We Are Still Making The Same Dumb Mistakes, Like Leaving Memos On The President's Desk.

We Make A Lot Of Fun At President Clinton's Expense. But This Transition Is Going To Be Tough Because It's Been 25 Years Since This Guy Has Gotten Laid In The Private Sector.

Happy Birthday To Evil North Korean Dictator Kim Jong Un. He Gathered Family And Friends Together And Celebrated By Executing A Few Close Friends.