Newton's Third Law Of Conversation,

People Are More Open About Seeking Help These Days. They Recognise The Fact That The Alternative To Having A Shrink Is That You Bore Your Friends Stupid. So I Figured That I Might As Well Give Someone 100 Bucks An Hour To Hear My Woes. At Least Someone Can Make A Living Out Of Listening To My Tedious Problems.

I'm Finding It Increasingly Difficult To Simply Walk Down The Street. In New York, I Dashed In To Buy A Big Pair Of Sunglasses To Conceal Myself, But The Guy Behind The Counter Shouted 'hey! It's Dr. House.'

Death And Disaster Are At Our Shoulders Every Second Of Our Lives, Trying To Get At Us. Missing, A Lot Of The Time. A Lot Of Miles On The Motorway Without A Front Wheel Blow-out. A Lot Of Viruses That Slither Through Our Bodies Without Snagging. A Lot Of Pianos That Fall A Minute After We've Passed. Or A Month, It Makes No Difference. So Unless We're Going To Get Down On Our Knees And Give Thanks Every Time Disaster Misses, It Makes No Sense To Moan When It Strikes.

I Remember Watching Mel Gibson On Some Show Once, And He Was Being Asked About His Belief In The Afterlife. Gibson Said: 'well, I Can't Believe This Is All There Is'. And I Thought: 'wait A Minute. You're Mel Gibson. You Have Millions Of Dollars. You're A Great-looking Chap With Every Conceivable Blessing That Could Be Bestowed Upon A Man. And That's Not Good Enough ?'

Perseverance Does Not Equal Worthiness. Next Time You Want To Get My Attention, Wear Something Fun. Low-riding Jeans Are Hot.