Next To Hot Chicken Soup,

The Woman Who Says, 'my Kids Are All Speaking To One Another And They Love Us' Is A Psychopathic Liar.

My Son Did Not Show Signs Of A Money Deficiency Until He Opened His Small Fist In The Nursery And Found It Was Empty.

I Convinced Him His Luggage Had Gone To That Big Bermuda Triangle In The Sky.

Before We Sent Kids To Computer Camps And Told Them They Were Having A Good Time, There Was Imagination Among The Human Species.

Early In My Life I Had Made A Pact With Myself. I Would Never Eat Anything That Moved When I Cooked It, Excited The Dog, Or Inflated Upon Impact With My Teeth.