No Affair That Begins With

It's Never Good To Fall In Love With Someone Whom You'd Have To Stab In The Eyeballs To Elicit A Response.

It Takes A Level Of Creative Depression To Hear 'girls Just Wanna Have Fun' And Weep.

I Used To Think That Nails-down-a-chalkboard Was The Worst Sound In The World. Then I Moved On To People-eating-cereal-on-the-phone. But Only This Week Did I Stumble Across The Rightful Winner: It's The Sound Of A Baggage Carousel Coming To A Grinding Halt, Having Reunited Every Passenger On Your Flight With Their Luggage, Except For You.

Who Do You Have To Sleep With To Get Laid In This Town?

I Think Humor Is The Social Use. You Can Put Anything In It. I Think - Yes, I Speak Heavily In Analogies - It Is Like Putting The Medicine In Apple Sauce Or A Block Of Cheese For A Dog. Not That Anyone In This Room Is A Dog In This Scenario.