No One's Trying To Get

I Talk About Stuff Like My Blackberry, Lost, The Internet, Music, Etc. So I Guess That Leads To The "nerd" Moniker. But I Don't Get It That Much To Be Honest. I Guess Its Better Than Being Labeled A "racist" Comedian.

I'm Kind Of Obsessed With Food. I Like To Eat. When I Tour, It's Like, Well, Like A Food Tour As Much As A Comedy Tour.

I Always Hate Telling My Jokes In Print 'cause I Always Feel Like It Reads So Not Funny And People Read It And They Think, 'oh, So That's What That Guy Does In His Stand-up? That's Terrible.'

She Broke Up With Me. Didn't Really Tell Me Why. Luckily When You're The Guy, You Can Just Tell People She's Crazy. 'hey, Tom, I Heard You And Lucy Broke Up.' 'yeah, Man. Turns Out, She's Crazy.' That's What They Always Do On Entourage.

We've Always Been Divided By Some Of These Big Political Issues. It's Fine. As Long As We Treat Each Other With Respect And Remember That Ultimately, We're All Americans, We'll Be Fine.