Nothing Can Prepare You For

...it Seemed Appropriate That I Should Develop Some Kind Of Illness. This Is A Good Idea When You Are At A Loose End Because Everything, Up To And Including Herpes, Is Better Than Being Bored.

I Like To Be Loved By My Children, And I Quite Like The Guardian Hating Me.

Ooh Good I've Got Syphilis, The Best Of The Sexually Transmitted Diseases.

I Don't Understand Bus Lanes. Why Do Poor People Have To Get To Places Quicker Than I Do?

Do Not Cruise Through Red Lights. Because If I'm Coming The Other Way, I Will Run You Down, For Fun.