Oh, My Tattered Rags Are

I Won't Lie To You, Fatherhood Isn't Easy Like Motherhood.

And Rest At Last Where Souls Unbodied Dwell, In Ever-flowing Meads Of Asphodel.

Hateful To Me As Are The Gates Of Hell, Is He Who, Hiding One Thing In His Heart, Utters Another.

Nothing Feebler Does Earth Nurture Than Man, Of All Things Breathing And Moving.

This Year I Invested In Pumpkins. They've Been Going Up The Whole Month Of October And I Got A Feeling They're Going To Peak Right Around January. Then Bang! That's When I'll Cash In.