Oh, The Protestants Hate The

If You Visit American City, You Will Find It Very Pretty. Just Two Things Of Which You Must Beware: Don't Drink The Water And Don't Breathe The Air. Pollution, Pollution, They Got Smog And Sewage And Mud. Turn On Your Tap And Get Hot And Cold Running Crud. See The Halibuts And The Sturgeons Being Wiped Out By Detergents. Fish Gotta Swim And Birds Gotta Fly, But They Don't Last Long If They Try. Pollution, Pollution, You Can Use The Latest Toothpaste, And Then Rinse Your Mouth With Industrial Waste.

I've Heard It Quoted That I Was Dead. You Can't Believe Anything You Read. That Was Just An Off-hand Remark Somebody Picked Up, And Now It's Been Quoted And Quoted, And Therefore Misquoted.

I Find Enough Mystery In Mathematics To Satisfy My Spiritual Needs. I Think, For Example, That Pi Is Mysterious Enough (don't Get Me Started!) Without Having To Worry About God. Or If Pi Isn't Enough, How About Fractals? Or Quantum Mechanics?

The Audiences Like To Think That Satire Is Doing Something. But, In Fact, It Is Mostly To Leave Themselves Satisfied. Satisfied Rather Than Angry, Which Is What They Should Be.

The Real Issues I Don't Think Most People Touch. The Clinton Jokes Are All About Monica Lewinsky And All That Stuff And Not About The Important Things, Like The Fact That He Wouldn't Ban Landmines...i'm Not Tempted To Write A Song About George W. Bush. I Couldn't Figure Out What Sort Of Song I Would Write. That's The Problem: I Don't Want To Satirize George Bush And His Puppeteers, I Want To Vaporize Them. And That's Not Funny....ok, Well, If I Say That, I Might Get A Shock Laugh, But It's Not Really Satire.