On The Plane Was A

If You're Seeing A Psychiatrist, You're Wasting Money Because All You've Got To Do Is Get On A Plane, Get On A Subway Tomorrow And, Inevitably, You're Going To Be Seated In Front Of Some Guy Who's Playing With Himself, And He'll Be Singing, 'happy Days Are Here Again.' I Tell You - When I See That Guy, I Feel Pretty Good About Myself.

I Don't Care Who Wins Because I Go To Sporting Events To Scream. It's The One Place On The Planet You Can Shout Anything You Want. You Can Bellow At Will, And Nobody Will Bother You. I Yell Things Like, 'my Life Sucks! Dan Quayle Is A Schmuck! If I Don't Have Sex Soon, I'm Going To Explode!' Parents Turn To Their Kids As I Leave The Stadium And Go, 'hey, There Goes A Great Fan.

Do You Know What 'meteorologist' Means In English? It Means Liar.

Should I Eat This Or Should I Eat This? Well, I'll Have To Eat Both!

You've Got To Be Stupid To Heckle Me - I Am Very Equipped To Win.