Once You Become A Comedian,

Sometimes You Gotta Work A Little, So You Can Ball A Lot.

I Think Absurdist Humor Is Funny.

So Many Gay Jokes Tonight About (james) Franco. Apparently If You're Clean, Well Dressed And Mildly Cultured, You're Super Gay Now. Is That Why The Rest Of You Guys Are So Aggressively Fat And Dirty? You Think If You Read One Book And Take A Shower, Dicks Are Going To Just Fly Into Your Face.

Why Would Anyone Get Married And Have Babies? That's The Dumbest Idea I've Ever Heard In My Life. Or The Scariest Thing I've Ever Heard In My Life.

Do You Realize How Much Better The World Would Be If We All Just Treated Each Other The Same Way Black Dudes Treat Magicians?