Only By Being Prepared For

We Ask The Gods For Answers And They Give Us Questions

Then Someone Started Pounding On The Door. And Not A Little "hey, What's Up?" Pound. Like There Was A Big Sale On Door Pounds Down At The Pound Outlet. Buy One, Get One Free At Pounds-n-stuff. --being The Journal Of Abby Normal

Carlton Mellick Iii Has The Craziest Book Titles And The Kinkiest Fans!

... But To Remain Historically Accurate, I Would Have Had To Leave Out An Important Question That I Felt Needed To Be Addressed, Which Is, 'what If Jesus Had Known Kung Fu?

For A While He'd Tried Molding Himself Into The Tragic Romantic Hero, Brooding And Staring Clench-jawed Off Into Space As He Composed Dark Verse In His Head. But It Turned Out That Trying To Appear Tragic In Incontinence, Indiana, Was Redundant, And His Mother Kept Shouting At Him And Making Him Forget His Rhymes. "tommy, If You Keep Grinding Your Teeth Like That, They'll Wear Away And You'll Have To Have Dentures Like Aunt Ester." Tommy Only Wished His Beard Was As Heavy As Aunt Ester's---then He Could Stare Out Over The Moors While He Stroked It Pensively.