Only In Comedy, By The

No Other Formula Gives Your Baby A Better Start In Life Except That Stuff That Comes Out Of You For Free.

I Don't Like My Feet. I'm Not Crazy About Anybody's Feet. But I Have Flat Feet.

One Afternoon A Girl Walked By In A Bikini And My Cousin Janet Scoffed, “look At The Hips On Her.” I Panicked. What About The Hips? Were They Too Big? Too Small? What Were My Hips? I Didn’t Know Hips Could Be A Problem. I Thought There Was Just Fat Or Skinny. This Was How I Found Out That There Are An Infinite Number Of Things That Can Be “incorrect” On A Woman’s Body.

In Order To Feel Safer On His Private Jet, Actor John Travolta Has Purchased A Bomb-sniffing Dog. Unfortunately For The Actor, The Dog Came Six Movies Too Late.

I Keep My Eyes On The Sea, Waiting To Be Rocketed Into It On A Wave Of Fire. I'll Be Ready For It To Happen And That Way It Won't Happen. It's A Burden, Being Able To Control Situations With My Hyper-vigilance, But Its My Lot In Life.