People Always Ask Me, 'where

I Used To Think I Knew Everything, But Older You Get The More You See Other Areas. If You Could Read Everything About Both Sides, You'll Pretty Much Be In The Middle Again, Which Is The State You Had When You Were Totally Ignorant. So My Theory Is If You Maintain Total Ignorance - Which Isn't Easy, But I Try - You'll Be Just As Far Ahead As If You'd Spent Days And Days Reading About The Whole Issue. And You Have That Much Extra Time To Play Pac-man.

I Saw A Psychologist Once Because I Thought I Had Depression. It Cost Me $100. When I Left, I Realised That There's Nothing He Could Have Said That Would Cheer Me Up As Much As If I Found A $100 Bill On My Way Home.

I Was At The Wal-mart, Which Is Where I Think Everybody Goes Eventually. If They Die Without Christ.

My Sister Just Had A Baby. We Can Have Company Over. She'll Be In Front Of Everyone With Her Um... Breast... Out Feeding It. You Know... Cereal Or Whatever.

Pentiums Melt In Your Pc, Not In Your Hand.