People Always Come Up To

I Took An Acting Class. After The First Day, The Teacher Quit, So They Said Take Another. When I Saw 'how To Be A Stand-up Comedian,' It Resonated. I Realized I'd Rather Make 200 People Laugh Than Make One Person Cry.

I've Been Pitching A Show Of Five Female Stand-up Comedians Through The Generations, From Phyllis Diller To Amy Schumer, So When I Got An E-mail Asking Me If I Would Participate In The Women In Comedy Festival, I Was Thrilled.

My Husband Wanted One Of Those Big-screen Tvs For His Birthday. So I Just Moved His Chair Closer To The One We Have Already.

I've Been On So Many Blind Dates, I Should Get A Free Dog.

I Found Out Why Cats Drink Out Of The Toilet. My Mother Told Me It's Because The Water Is Cold In There. And I'm Like: How Did My Mother Know That?