People Say, Like, "i Love

Sometimes Loving Each Other Isn't Enough. You Have To Be Responsible For Your Own Happiness. You Can't Stay In A Relationship Because You're Afraid Of The Unknown.

My Dad Was A Bedwetter; I Think His Dad Was A Bedwetter. I Like To Talk About It Because It's Something That I Thought Would Be My Deepest, Darkest Secret My Whole Life, And Then You Become An Adult, And It's Not.

I Don't Really Like Saying "the Gays"... I'm Not Sure Why. I Suppose I Say "the Jews." But I Don't Say "the Blacks." I Guess Because I'm A Jew For All Intents And Purposes And To Group People Together Of Which I Am Not One In Such A Casual Way Feels Disrespectful.

Comics Who Grew Up Surviving Their Childhood By Being Able To Be The First One To Make The Joke About Their Weight Or Their Hairy Arms - Like Me - Whatever They're Insecure About, Whatever They're Apologizing For, That Becomes Their Strength.

Why Would I Become Involved With Something That Doesn't Include Everyone? If You're Getting Married Today, It's The Equivalent Of Joining A Country Club That Doesn't Allow Blacks Or Jews.