Recently, I've Ventured Into The

Charlie Chaplin Is The Greatest Artist Of The 20th Century. He Takes Me From Laughter To Tears In Seconds. And He Was One Of The Very First Funny Men. It's Like The Original Violins Were Made In Cremona And There's Never Been Any Better Since. Sometimes The Best Come Right Off The Bat.

I Went Into The Gas Station, Said, Fill 'er Up, Harry. The Guy Said, Regular? I Said, No, Put On A Gorrila Suit And Dance Like A Fairy.

The Question Is Absurd: When You Ask, 'if God Is Both All Good And All Powerful, Why Then Does He Allow Suffering?', What You Are Really Asking Is, 'if God Is Both All Good And All Powerful, Why Then Can He Not Make Me (the Questioner) - Who Is Just As Much A Part Of A Universe In Which There Is Suffering As Is Any Other Part - Be At The Same Time The Exact Same Questioner, But One Who Is Now Part And Parcel Of A Universe In Which There Is No Suffering?' Which, Reduced Down, Is The Same Thing As Asking, 'why Can There Not Be, At The Same Time, X And The Preclusion Of X?'

People Come Up To Me And Say, 'emo, Do People Really Come Up To You?'

I'd Be In The Backyard Minding My Own Business. The Other Kids Would Call Me Names, Like Meatball Head Or Neo-calvinist. I'd Run After Them, But Lucky For Them The Chain Would Snap My Neck Back.