Republican Ted Cruz Announced That

A New Report Found That Facebook Has Created More Than 450,000 Jobs. Unfortunately, Photos Posted On Facebook Have Ended 550,000 Jobs.

Starbucks Is Planning To Close Down All The Restrooms In Its New York Locations. Which Explains The Most Popular New Starbucks Order: An Empty Cup.

New York Governor Andrew Cuomo Just Signed A Bill That Bans Powdered Alcohol From The State. So If You Live In New York And You're Consuming Powdered Alcohol, Your Life Just Somehow Got Even Worse.

Look, I Know These Rick Perry Jokes Are A Little Mean, But Tomorrow, He Won't Even Remember Them.

Yesterday, The Supreme Court Spent Over An Hour Listening To Arguments On Whether Obamacare Is Unconstitutional. Yeah, Listening To Arguments About Obamacare For An Hour, Or As Most People Call That, 'thanksgiving Dinner.'