Right Now, My Job Is

Comedians Are The One Who Have To Tell The Emperor He Has No Clothes On.

Gun Control? We Need Bullet Control! I Think Every Bullet Should Cost 5,000 Dollars. Because If A Bullet Cost Five Thousand Dollar, We Wouldn't Have Any Innocent Bystanders.

I Always Say About My Daughters, They Save Me From My Miserable Self. They Take Me Out, You Know, A Comedian, You Could Live In Your Head A Lot. And You're Writing And You're Doubting. But When I'm With My Kids And My Family, It's All About Them.

Hollywood's Just Not Funny.

The Thing About Barack Obama, Just From Being Around Him, Is He's Cooler Than The Other Politicians, But Just Nerdy Enough To Do The Job. Like You Can't Be Really Cool And Be The President.