Sarah Palin's Book Is Big,

The Senator Got So Tired On The Campaign Trail That He Started Kissing Hands And Shaking Babies.

They're Saying Now That Rick Santorum Is Gaining Momentum Because He's Not Romney. And Mitt Romney Was Furious. He Replied, 'well, I Can Do That.

Right After The Show Tonight, I'm Going To The New York City Car Show. You Get To See The Models That Will Be Crashed Next Year By Drunken Secret Service Agents.

Ladies And Gentlemen, After What I've Been Through, I Am Happy Just To Be Wearing Clothes That Open In The Front.

Have You Seen A Copy Of Tax Tips For Billionaires?