Sex Has Been Around For

When Asked In His Late 90s If His Doctor Knew He Still Smoked, Burns Said, 'no ... He's Dead.'

Everyday Happiness Means You Can't Wait To Come Home, Because The Soup Is Hot.

Retirement At Sixty-five Is Ridiculous. When I Was Sixty-five I Still Had Pimples.

Critics Are Eunuchs At A Gang Bang.

I've Been A Straight Man For So Many Years That From Force Of Habit I Repeat Everything. I Went Out Fishing With A Fellow The Other Day And He Fell Overboard. He Yelled, Help! Help! Help! So I Said, Help? Help? Help? And While I Was Waiting For Him To Get His Laugh, He Drowned.