She Was So Ugly That

I Could Tell My Parents Hated Me. My Bath Toys Were A Toaster And A Radio.

And My Girlfriend, She's Fat! How Fat? She's So Fat She Wears Two Watches-one For Each Time Zone!

My Wife Wants Sex In The Back Of The Car And She Wants Me To Drive.

Women My Age Just Don't Turn Me On. That's Another Problem With Getting Older. I Took Out An Older Woman The Other Night, And I Mean Old. I Told Her, Act Your Age. She Died.

During Sex, My Girlfriend Always Wants To Talk To Me… Just The Other Night She Called Me From A Hotel.