Singer Boy Dylan Was Stopped

Today Homeland Security Chief Tom Ridge Lowered The Terror Alert From Orange To Yellow. Does Anybody Need 16 Miles Of Duct Tape?

Senator Hillary Clinton Is Attacking President Bush For Breaking His Campaign Promise To Cut Carbon Dioxide Emissions, Saying A Promise Made, A Promise Broken. And Then Out Of Habit, She Demanded That Bush Spend The Night On The Couch.

John Kerry Will Undergo Surgery To Repair His Right Shoulder. He Originally Hurt It When He Suddenly Switched Positions On Iraq.

As The Democrats Get Revved Up At Their Convention In Boston, President Bush Is Fighting Back The Only Way He Knows How: By Going On Vacation! Ah, It's Nice To Take A Rest, Replenish Your Supply Of Smirks. The Vacation Was Expected, Because Bush Traditionally Takes A Month Off Every Summer To Relax And Avoid Reading National Security Warnings.

I Pride Myself On Being Down-to-earth. I’m From The Midwest. People Who Go Into Show Business Are Screwed Up. I Romanticized About Having A Serene Life.