Suburbia Is Too Close To

I Wanted To Be An Archaeologist. But In School You Have To Take A Tremendous Amount Of Statistics For That, And I Am Not Good At Statistics. So I Hit A Real Wall With Archaeology. It's Probably Like Wanting To Be An Architect - You Think It's All Fun And Games, And Then You Have To Get Out A Calculator And You're Done.

Being A Writer Is An Endless Study In Human Transition And Lessons Learned Or Forgotten Or Misapplied.

I Have Nothing Against Canada. I Think That Canadians Might Know The Secret To All Existence, But To Us It Just Comes Off As Timid And Kind And Too Nice, And It Strikes Us As Lacking Edge. Unless You Are Hijacking Someone And Going On A Reality Show With Your Eight Kids And Wearing A Velour Pink Pantsuit, Then You Have No Edge To Us.

I Was The Youngest Of My Entire Family So You Are Tap-dancing To Try To Get The Attention Of Your Older Cousins. I Really Hit My Social Stride In 6th Grade, But Before That I Was A Pretty Big Dork. You Learn How To Be Amusing And How To Work For It.

They Say It's Not The Snoring Itself But Those Anxiety-packed Moments In Between Snorts. It's The Waiting For The Nasal Passages Of The Person Lying Beside You To Strike Again. And Strike It Always Does. In The Dark, Almost Against Your Will, You Produce That Special Glare Reserved For People Who Cannot Control Their Own Behaviour.