Ted Kennedy Is Endorsing John

Yesterday, The Senate Voted To Approve President Clinton's Decision To Send Troops To Bosnia. And They Voted To Change The Name Of That Mission To "operation Forget About Whitewater".

Now There Are Reports That Osama Bin Laden Would Like To Commit Suicide On Television. This Is The Kind Of Lead-in I Have Been Praying For Every Since I Came To Cbs. Bin Laden Is Planning A Televised Suicide Or, As I Call It, Hosting The Academy Awards.

Iraqi's Minister Of Information Did Not Show Up For His Press Conference Today. However, He Claims He Was There And He Said It Went Very Well.

Since 1980, There Have Been 91 Breaches Of Security At The White House. Well, 92 If You Count George Bush.

John Boehner - Doesn't He Look Like Every Guy You've Ever Seen At A Hotel Bar? He Looks Like The Kind Of Guy Who Licks His Thumb When He Counts His Money.