That Secondary Provides Worse Coverage

The Patriots Deflated Balls Are But An Allegory For America's Deflated Balls In Dealings With Putin, The Mullahs In Iran, And Islamic Terrorists.

Nervous? He's Tighter Than Pat Buchanan's Sphincter Muscle At A 4th Of July Soiree On Fire Island.

Concussion? How The Hell Can They Tell? They're *football* Players, For Chrissakes!

There's Nothing Wrong With Being Shallow As Long As You're Insightful About It.

In The Late Twentieth Century, Staying Sober Has Become Just As Much An Addiction As Getting Wasted.