The Bad Poet Is A

Utility Is Our National Shibboleth: The Savior Of The American Businessman Is Fact And His Uterine Half-brother, Statistics.

A Man Who Can Be Entertaining For A Full Day Will Be In His Grave By Night-fall.

There Is A Strange And Mighty Race Of People Called The Americans Who Are Rapidly Becoming The Coldest In The World Because Of This Cruel, Man-eating Idol, Lucre.

It Is Very Perplexing How An Intrepid Frontier People, Who Fought A Wilderness, Floods, Tornadoes, And The Rockies, Cower Before Criticism, Which Is Regarded As A Malignant Tumor In The Imagination.

Recognize The Cunning Man Not By The Corpses He Pays Homage To But By The Living Writers He Conspires Against With The Most Shameful Weapon, Silence, Or The Briefest Review.