The Best Way To Travel

I've Had To Remove All Mirrors From My Home. I Just Can't Seem To Look At Myself Without Having To Buff The Bishop, You Know?

I'm A Busy Guy; I Just Get A Lot Of People That Sound Like Me To Go Out And Visit Them. They Don't Know The Difference And, Let's Face It, They Aren't Going To Be Paying To See My Movies Anytime Soon.

People Always Say The God Father Is The #1 Movie Of All Time. But Ask Yourself, Did You See Zach Braff In It....no You Didn't. So Then By Default It Goes To Garden State..and If Youwatch Two Episodes Of Scrubs Back To Back That Counts As The #2.

Once Both Gay Marriage And Marijuana Are Finally Legal, Those Of You Against Them Are Not Invited To The Really Fun Parties I'm Gonna Throw.

The Way I Write Is That I'll Actually Have A Conversation Out Loud With Myself. In A Weird Way, I Just Kind Of Get Schizophrenic And Play Two Characters.