The Clothes Make The Man.

Having A Beard Is A Good Way To Make Your Face More Susceptible To Velcro.

The Definition Of Adventure Depends Upon How Boring Your Life Is.

I Was Making Pancakes The Other Day And A Fly Flew Into The Kitchen. And That's When I Realized That A Spatula Is A Lot Like A Fly-swatter. And A Crushed Fly Is A Lot Like A Blueberry. And A Roommate Is A Lot Like A Fly Eater.

I Bought A Dictionary. First Thing I Did Was, I Looked Up The Word "dictionary", And It Said "you're An Asshole".

To Remove All Credibility From What You're Saying Try Wearing Sunglasses On Your Forehead.