In His First Speech As

I Went To See The Terminator Movie The Other Night. Every Time Arnold Schwarzenegger Came On The Screen This Guy In Front Of Me Went 'booo! Booo!' And Was Throwing Stuff. I Had To Say 'governor Davis Just Shut Up And Sit Down!'

It Happened Again This Week. Hundreds Of People Had To Be Evacuated From O'hare Airport In Chicago. Seems Every Time Somebody Went Through With A Weapon, The Metal Detectors Accidentally Went Off.

Bp Ceo Tony Hayward Said He Would Just Like To Get His Life Back. He Wants To Get His Life Back. You Know, I Say Give Him Life Plus 20.

What's Going On With The Oakland Raiders? You Know, I Don't Want To Say The Raiders Are Bad, But You Know, Now, A Lot Of Fans Are Painting Their Faces Just So They Won't Be Recognized.

Today Is April 1, April Fools' Day, A Day That People Try To Fool Their Friends And Relatives. Don't Confuse That With April 15, When People Try To Fool The Irs.