The Hardest Thing In Comedy

I Can't Go To A Bad Movie By Myself. What, Am I Gonna Make Sarcastic Remarks To Strangers?

On The Side Of Box Of My Superman Costume It Actually Said - 'do Not Attempt To Fly!'

You Can Measure Distance By Time. 'how Far Away Is It?' 'oh About 20 Minutes.' But It Doesn't Work The Other Way. 'when Do You Get Off Work?' 'around 3 Miles.'

Work Is The Least Important Thing And Family Is The Most Important.

If People Would Only Look To The Cookie, All Our Problems Would Be Solved.