The Hollywood Tradition I Like

Happiness Is Seeing The Muscular Lifeguard All The Girls Were Admiring Leave The Beach Hand In Hand With Another Muscular Lifeguard.

We Resort, Frankly, To Pies, Which Is A Comedy Staple That's Gone Back, I Guess, To Since The First Pie Was Ever Baked.

There Are Very Few Japanese Jews. As A Result, There Is No Japanese Word For Alan King.

I Would Like To Say, For The Record, That I Am In Favor Of Using More American Indians And Other Minorities In Motion Pictures, I Am Against Polluting The Oceans Of The World, I Am For Every Nationality Having Its Own Homeland, I Am Against Whacking Baby Seals On The Head, And I Am For Saving The Whales.

There's A Lot Of Hypocrisy In Audiences. I'd Never Dream Of Telling Even On A Nightclub Stage, Let Alone My Show, Some Of The Jokes That Are Told In A Lot Of The Living Rooms From Which We Get Those Letters!