...the Music Seems Creepy, Like

I Never Dreamed I Would Receive The Mark Twain Prize For American Humor, Mostly Because My Style Is So Typically Austrian.

Amy Poehler And I Have Been Friends For So Long, We're Like Oprah And Gale. Only We're Not Denying Anything.

I Still Want Oprah To Play My Best Friend. I Want To Spend Time With Oprah.

It Was Scary To Be In That World Of Politics. I Felt Uncomfortable To Be In That Discussion. The Weird Thing Is, When Darrell Hammond Or Will Ferrell Or Dana Carvey Did An Impersonation Of A President, No One Assumed It Was Personal, But Because Sarah Palin And I Are Both Women And People Think Women Are Meaner To Each Other, Everyone Assumed It Was Personal.

I Have A Suspicion That The Definition Of "crazy" In Show Business Is A Woman Who Keeps Talking Even After No One Wants To F*** [sleep With Her] Anymore.