The Pearly Gates. Am I

I Don't Want To Be A Tv Star For The Sake Of Being On Tv. I Want To Have A Tv Show That's Based Around My Comedy.

I'd Really Like To Promote My Increasing Consumption Of Bacon.

A Lot Of People Are Like, "you're Doing Commercials?" And I Honestly Feel Like Those Sierra Mist Commercials Are Better Than A Lot Of Sitcoms I Get Offered. It's Hard Work, And I'm Paid A Lot Of Money, And I Do It Because I Love The Soda.

Some People Have Their Own Bowling Ball And Their Own Bowling Shoes... And No Friends.

I'm Not A Strict Vegetarian. I Do Eat Beef And Pork. And Chicken. But Not Fish 'cause That's Disgusting! How Do You Know When Fish Goes Bad? It Smells Like Fish Either Way! 'hey This Smells Like A Dumpster, Lets Eat It!'