The Pressure To Being A

The 'phoenix Sun' Did A List Of The Unsexiest Men In The World, And I Made It To Number One. I Beat Out Bin Laden. He's A Terrorist, Hasn't Bathed In Months. I Beat Him Out. To Me It Was A Great Honor.

I Was Talking To Jesus, And I Said, Jesus, I Feel Like No One Will Ever Accept Me. And Jesus Looked At Me And Said, You Know What My Theory Is? Accept Me Or Go To Hell.

My Family Originally Lived In Brooklyn. Our First Apartment Was A Little Place Above My Father And Uncle's Hardware Store In Coney Island. Now, Don't Get The Impression That We Were Surrounded By Merry-go-rounds, Roller Coasters And Ferris Wheels. Nope, This Was A Little Side Street.

I Always Feel That Most Political Jokes, If You're Going To Do Them, You Have To Do Them Within The Next Five Minutes, Or Else They're Outdated. By The Time You've Got It To The Point That It's Strong, It Would Be 12 Years Old.

If They'd Wanted A Nice Parrot, They Wouldn't Have Asked For Me.