The Russians Haven't Been To

So Many People Counted On Me To Be The Party, I Had To Move Far Enough Away That They Wouldn't Want To Drive There.

Obviously I'm Not A Role Model For Impressionable Youth.

There's Always 30 Or 40 Christians Standing Around, Saying, "it's A Shame That He Has To Die." And Jesus Is Saying, "well, Maybe I Wouldn't Have To If Somebody Would Get A Ladder And Pair Of Pliers!!"

In The 1990s, It's Ok To Do Comedy About The Chernobyl Disaster Or The Space Shuttle Blowing Up. It's Acceptable To Ridicule The Pope Or The President Of The United States, But God Forbid You Do A Joke... About Gays. The Gay Community Is The Last Sacred Cow In This Society.

If I've Learned One Thing, It's 'don't Tell The Truth.' Lies Keep You Together.