The Secret Of Success Is

You Don’t See Many Of These White Anti-abortion Women Volunteering To Have Any Black Fetuses Transplanted Into Their Uterus’s, Do You? No, You Don’t See Them Adopting A Whole Lot Of Crack Babies, Do You? No, That Might Be Something Christ Would Do.

Hey! Who Stole My Collection Of Used Bandages?! And They Also Got Away With My Nude Pictures Of Ernest Borgnine!

The Golden Gate Bridge Should Have A Long Bungee Cord For People Who Aren't Quite Ready To Commit Suicide But Want To Get In A Little Practice.

And, Of Course, The Funniest Food Of All, Kumquats.

If A Drug Has Anything Going For It At All, It Should Be Self-limiting. It Should Tell You When You've Had Enough.