The Teachings Of The Church

What I'm Suggesting Is, Stand For Yourself, Be For Something, And The Hell With It. Because The Hand-wringers And The Editorialists And The Sigh-and-pontificate Crowd Will Be Against You, Whatever You Do.

Winning An Argument With Your Wife Is Like Winning The War With Iraq. Once You Win, You're In Even More Trouble.

Republicans Now Have Their Own Network In Fox, So Guys Who Don't Like To Answer Questions, Like Trent Lott, Have A Place To Go To Hit Softballs.

You Know, Back In 2000 A Republican Friend Of Mine Warned Me That If I Voted For Al Gore And He Won, The Stock Market Would Tank, We'd Lose Millions Of Jobs, And Our Military Would Be Totally Overstretched. You Know What: I Did Vote For Al Gore, He Did Win, And I'll Be Damned If All Those Things Didn't Come True.

Truth Is Relative. Truth Is What You Can Make The Voter Believe Is The Truth. If You're Smart Enough, Truth Is What You Make The Voter Think It Is. That's Why I'm A Democrat. I Can Make The Democratic Voters Think Whatever I Want Them To.