The Truth Is, I Wrote

My Mother Is A Special Education Teacher But Also An Artist, And My Father An Advertising Executive. They Are About As Wacky As You Can Get Without Being Alcoholics.

Alaska Is What Happens When Willy Wonka And The Witch From Hansel And Gretel Elope, Buy A Place Together Upstate, Renounce Their Sweet Teeth, And Turn Into Health Fanatics.

You Feel Like Telling Him You're Not Single In The Way That He Thinks You're Single. After All, You Have Yourself.

I Now Know My Right From My Left And My Up From My Down. Unluckily, My Terrible Sense Of Direction Remains. For Me, To Live In New York City Is To Never Be Able To Meet Someone On The Northeast Corner. It Is To Never Ever Make A Smooth Entrance, Always To Get Caught Looking Lost On The Street.

I Attended An Extremely Small Liberal Arts School. There Were Approximately 1,600 Of Us Roaming Our New England Campus On A Good Day. My High School Was Bigger. My Freshman Year Hourly Calorie Intake Was Bigger.