There Are Lots Of Things

We Don't Want To Act Like Adults. Anybody Who Can Stay In A State Of Adolescence Will Be Much Better Off Later On. Look At People Who Are Working Nine-to-five Jobs Out Of College, And Look At Professional Skateboarders Or Guys In Punk Bands. See Who's Having More Fun.

I've Masturbated Like 5 Times In The Last 24 Hours... It Hurts... It's Going To Fall Off.

I Might Be A Dork, But I Don't Want To Be A Jerk.

I Used To Drink A Lot Of Beer, But I Was Just Getting Fat As Can Be. Now That We've Had A Little Success, I Can Afford To Drink Wine.

Humor Has Become So Cliche And Boring That Nothing's Funny Anymore Unless It Involves Something Totally Disgusting That Offends Somebody Or Makes Them Feel Really Uncomfortable.