There Is A Penalty For

John Kerry Was The Big Winner In Iowa. Ted Kennedy Introduced Kerry As The 'comeback Kid.' That Used To Be Bill Clinton's Name - Because Every Time He Would Come Back To A City, He Would Find Out If He Had A Kid Or Not.

Gary Condit Is On The Congressional Committee For Homeland Security. They Make The Guy Responsible For Homeland Security Who Is The Guy No One Would Feel Secure Going Home With.

More Coming Out About Saddam Hussein. We Now Know He Takes Viagra And He Has As Many As Six Mistresses. No Wonder Congress Is Reluctant To Take Action Against This Guy - He's One Of Their Own.

Stephen Hawking Is Getting A Divorce. That's Scary. If The Smartest Guy In The World Can't Figure Out Women, We're Screwed.

On Capitol Hill, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales Raised His Right Hand, Swore To Tell The Truth, And Then Everybody Had A Good Laugh And Went Back To What They Were Doing.