There's Estrogen Running Through My

Every Time You Come In From Cheating On Someone, They'll Just Whip Out The Most Adorable Term Of Endearment. Like, They'll Wake Up, Bright And Early, Sleep In Their Eyes And Say: "hey, Perfect."

You Know What I'd Like To Be Able To Do More Than Anything Else? I'd Love To Be Able To Shoot Spaghetti Out Of My Fingertips. Pppptthhh! Cause No One Wants To Be Covered In Spaghetti. No. If I'm On A Date With A Girl And She's Very Rude, I'd Be Like, You Know What? Pppptthhh! Enjoy Your Spaghetti, You're Very Rude. Enjoy Your Spaghetti, Cause You're Rude. Pppptthhh!

Sometimes Sex Is Just A Way To Escape Having To Talk To That Person.

Dear Semi Hot Girl Taking Photos On A Boat. It's Not Your Boat So Stop Acting Like You Own It. You Drive A Used Civic.

I Have A New Saying, What I See In Vegas, I Am Telling Everybody.