There's Humor In Everything. There's

Don't Answer The Door In A Wedding Dress And Veil, He Might Not Think You're Joking.

I Don't Mind Pointing Out Some Of The Failings Of Old Age, Because We Are All Headed In That Direction, Unless Of Course We Take Our Own Lives Before We Become A Burden. I'm Not Advocating Suicide, Oh Wait, I Guess I Am.

I Failed First Grade, Which Is My Biggest Problem. You Always Feel Like A Failure, Like You're Stupid.

I'm Not A Good Storyteller. I Always Think I'm Going To Get Interrupted, Or Something's Going To Get Edited. I Think That Comes From Being In A Large Family, So You Have To Get Your Story In Really Quick Or Someone Cuts You Off.

My Kitchen's Pink, Like Skin-tone Pink, And I Lowered My Spice Rack So It's Eye Level - It's True! - And My Phone, So I Can Reach It When I Fall, It's Right There.